Calgary says Edmonton won’t return its phone calls after recent tv appearance

The city of Calgary reports that after numerous attempts to contact its neighbouring city to congratulate it on its recent television appearance on the much anticipated HBO television series “The Last of Us.” Calgary claims to have tried texting its fellow Albertans because they know they’re busy, all to no avail.

As members of the media Berta in Briefs had no trouble contacting the city about its new found stardom. Edmonton was keen to reassure everyone present that it “was not going anywhere”, something that would have ben quite alarming as it is technically still a fixed geographical location.

“I know Edmonton’s there ok; it’s been in the same place since 1892. I actually got here first in 1884 and been standing by Edmonton the whole time. Does Edmonton want to talk to me now? Nope, no time for Calgary because they’re on ‘Home Box Office’. More like ‘Heathens Baking Order’, or maybe “Hogs Bend Over”.

While Calgary continued down an increasingly petty path of commenting on the neighbouring cities success, Edmonton is reportedly purchasing eight large white letters of the I’m better than you size variety.